Cupid's Holiday

February 14th, ahhh, what other holiday wreaks havoc in the hearts of humans? Yes, Cupid’s Revenge. I have been on many sides of the fence, the optomistically romantic single, the married gal, the jaded and wounded divorcee, the married gal again. Overall, I resent February 14th as a day when unrealistic expectations and complicated emotional scenarios are stirring in the minds of single men and women everywhere. For many people (except those lucky people who don't let it get to them), it's stressful and self-destructive to your ego. Here's what the mental lowdown looks like on 2/14:

In scenario number 1, you can’t go out to dinner with the member of an opposite sex on that exact day because it MEANS something.

In scenario number 2, if you aren’t asked out by a member of the opposite sex it’s one lonely night at home and heck you ARE worthless.

In scenario 3, you’re hoping that someone you like asks you out, although you don’t want to admit being a romantic dork.

In scenario 4, when that person you like doesn’t ask you out, you optomistically realize they wouldn’t know quality if it was fused at the nuclear level to their brain.

In scenario 5, you just get avoid the day completely – do not listen to any TV or radio - the airwaves are wrought with diamond jewelry ads "for the one you love" and you settle in and read a magazine from last fall.

In scenario 6, you go to a party held by your friends or go out with a few buddies, safety in numbers. It's much more fun to celebrate friendship.

Protect yourself... pull your heart in nice and tight, wrap it up in foil and kryptonite, and just send out some nice emails and cards and hugs and blankets of non-committal love to your dear friends and family, married, single, or undecided, all whom you care about. It's about giving, isn't that right? It is nice to give, and it is nice to receive. Hang tough, peeps. Unless you get dumped on Valentine's Day (I did, thank you), it's just another Hallmark holiday.

The envelope please...

Okay, so now along with the recession and our limited income, the chance that my husband could be laid off at any time (though that has been the case now for about 9 years...), now comes another thrilling discovery for me to OBSESS over.

Recently, my husband applied for a new life insurance policy. The 10-year term policy had expired and we decided to convert to a "term plus" policy which would cover our expenses should the unthinkable occur, as well as build a small amount of equity over the next 20 years.

This afternoon my husband received a call from the life insurance agent. Apparently, the underwriters DENIED my husband coverage, they REJECTED him for the madenningly vague reason of "unusual levels due to kidney function." WTF?????

The insurance agent had no other information for us (due to privacy laws, thanks so much) and so now we just have to wait for THE LAB TO SEND US THE ENVELOPE IN THE MAIL! Then we can take whatever their results are to our doctor so that HE can decifer what (if anything) is wrong with my husband.

The thing that makes me nervous about all this is that insurance companies WANT your money. The only reason they would DENY you coverage is because they think you have something THAT MIGHT CAUSE YOU TO DIE EARLY, THEREBY MAKING THEM PAY.

So, for the next several days I get to wait for the mail truck while I cruise WEBMD, typing in vague phrases like "kidney function" and "irregular test results". I'll obsess about this until I know for sure just what the problem might be.

Cause that's just the kind of gal I am...